The last time I did any appreciable travel pre-COVID-19 was late January 2020. I went down to NYC for a customer meeting. My next trip was supposed to be SQLBits in the UK in March which never happened for obvious reasons. For the better part of the past 20 years, I’ve flown 50 – 100,000 miles per year. Some people I know fly more than that. There are two ways I could have handled the sudden and enforced change in my life: look at it as a problem and be miserable or lean into it and make something of it.

At first, I must be honest and say I was bummed and missed being out there. What I came to realize is that this past year has become a blessing in disguise. Let me explain.

Nearly 20 years on the road does things to your life – both good and bad. There were stretches I was home and sometimes travel came in spurts, but I didn’t earn lifetime status with American Airlines and Marriott because I am a homebody.

What I realized quickly in my forced “staycation” is that I was weary. All those years on the road which came to a sudden halt was like getting off a treadmill still running at full speed. I needed a reset both mentally and physically. Just as COVID was kicking in, I was dealing with a hand issue that was not only hampering my ability to type (affecting work) but also made it hard to play bass. I also realized I had a backlog of projects and other things personally and professionally that were long neglected for one reason or another.

For example, I’ve never worked in an office when at home. I not only set one up, but I figured out a lot of stuff which will influence some exciting things I will announce in the upcoming months. I just never had dedicated time to deal with setting one up when I was home a few days here, maybe a week or two there. Even when I was home, I was working all the time or trying to squeeze one more rehearsal in because I may not be able to play for weeks on end. I didn’t allow myself to slow down. I had to cram something into every moment. That’s normal until it isn’t.

A big silver lining is that 2020 was a busy year for SQLHA. I basically didn’t have downtime all year and just this past week was the first one I took a breath. I am VERY thankful for the work as I know some were not. We have great customers (why aren’t you one? contact us today ;)). I never take it for granted.

Even with being busy, I made myself a priority. I not only feel the best physically I have in years but also rejuvenated. Part of that rejuvenation is being inspired. For example, before these two recent blog posts, I realized I hadn’t written one in nearly six months. I just wasn’t feeling it.

Did 2020 suck in many ways? You bet. It was not all sunshine and roses. I’ll just say this: I certainly have more salt than pepper in my hair after 2020.

Realistically I probably won’t be hitting the road in any meaningful way until later in 2021 or early 2022 since vaccines are just rolling out. Most countries are closed for visitors. Even travel here in the US is iffy to me at the moment. I’m going to continue making lemonade out of lemons by checking items off the aforementioned list of backlogged projects. I know I can’t tackle them all at once, but it feels good to be making forward progress. I am also making sure I give myself some time, too. Self-care matters. You’re no good to anyone if you’re exhausted.

When the time comes, I’ll be grateful to be out and about again and am looking forward to seeing all of you outside of a screen. I know one thing for sure: I will appreciate it that much more. Until then, stay safe and healthy.

It was the fall of 1991. I applied for and landed a quality assurance internship at SQL Solutions in Burlington, MA which was located at 8 New England Executive Park right next to the Burlington Mall. SQL Solutions was purchased by Sybase not long after. I kept that internship through the end of graduation in 1994 and there’s no question it literally set up the rest of my professional career.

I always find it interesting how one thing, one event, one interaction can sometimes change the course of your life – good or bad. I’ve been on both sides of that.

I always went home in the summertime, but when back in MA for college, I was at Sybase twice a week (Tuesday and Thursday if memory serves me correctly). Two of the people I worked closely with and were my direct supervisors were women I still have the utmost respect for today. I’ve never seen gender, color of someone’s skin, religion, etc., as a problem then or now. No one should. I learned a lot in those two years, and I am forever thankful to everyone I worked with at Sybase. In fact, one of the people I met I wound up playing years later in various jazz ensembles (he’s a guitar player). Small world.

Part of me thought I’d land a permanent job at Sybase, but that wasn’t meant to be, and I believe things worked out how they should have. The skills I acquired in those two years gave me the foundation to land my first job post-college doing QA using FoxPro (then Visual FoxPro) for a company that did medical software. In reality, it set me up for life since I’m still tinkering with databases today.

In a harbinger of things to come, I once got in trouble in that job because I automated part of what I was supposed to do using Visual Basic and Excel macros. The results were predictable, so why would I eyeball that? Let a process tell me if it was good or bad. Was I DevOps before DevOps was cool? (kidding here, folks) That little “stunt” landed me on a PIP which I survived but it taught me a valuable lesson.

I can see why automating rubbed some the wrong way – here’s this young upstart at the tender age of maybe 23 trying to tell us how to do our job. I was just trying to free my time up to be more efficient and save my time for the stuff that needed my attention. It’s funny how automation and other things are commonplace now but were not then.

The events of the past year when we’ve all been stuck at home has given us time to reflect and see how we want or need to move forward and improve. I have always looked forward, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look to the past for inspiration. I look fondly on the early years of my career. In some ways I’ve come so far, but in others, I haven’t gone very far at all. I think I found my calling early if I wasn’t going to be a full-time musician but I marched to the beat of my own drummer and I’d like to think I still do to a degree. I’m certainly older. Wiser and smarter? I hope so. Better filter? Those who know me will have varying opinions here.

I’d like to think my success to date has outweighed my failures and shortcomings. I’m a work in progress. We all are. This is why even 30 years in, I try my best to learn and do new things knowing in some cases it will be difficult or I may be ahead of the curve.

A recent interview with Tomo Fujita by Mary Spender struck a huge chord with me. Paraphrasing what Tomo said at one point is this: teachers are not better than students and can learn from them even though they are still helping the student. This one quote stuck with me: “(A) teacher is just a great student.” Fast forward to about 8:37 if you want to see that interaction. It’s such a good interview where even if you are not a musician, you can apply a lot of what Tomo says to your life beyond that little bit.

I’m no longer that early 20-something but I learn something from all of my customers and students (including anyone who attends a webinar, etc.). I may not be the smartest person in the room and I’m totally fine with that but I’m at the proverbial table for a reason and it’s not just my boyish good looks and charm (laugh – it’s a joke). I’ll never try to be all things to all people; it’s impossible. I know my limitations. I can only attempt be the best me I can be at any given moment.

That 20-something also couldn’t have imagined one internship would one day allow him to travel the world and speak to, work with, and teach thousands of people. There are very few things as humbling when people tell you how you’ve inspired them or helped them and it made an impact.

Learn from your mistakes. Learn from every experience – good or bad. Learn from those around you. You never know what may shape and spark things to come … and remember to give back.

I don’t always participate in T-SQL Tuesday, but this month’s topic appealed to me. Hosted by Mohammad Darab (blog | Twitter), his idea is to write a letter to my 20 year old self and give some advice. I hope you find it both useful and entertaining. Enjoy!

Dear Allan,

You’ve learned a lot in just over a quarter of a century – sometimes not the way you would have liked, but hey, welcome to life. It’ll be a journey, not a destination. Below are some tips that will serve you well.

Working Harder is Not a Life Goal

Besides work, you will average over 50,000 miles a year on planes and play in two big bands as well as a few different small ensembles (among other things you do). Your schedule still tires people out (something you’ll hear often). You’re just as busy – if not busier – today than you were at 20. However, you require more than an hour or two of sleep. Remember to eat and drink. Listen to your body. You’re not invincible. You’re no good to anyone if you’re tired, run down, or sick. You’ll never have perfect work/life balance but taking time for yourself is important. Sometimes a simple recharge – it could be a quick power nap or a week off at the right time – can make all the difference in the world.

Turn off the computer and have a life outside of work. That last bit of whatever will still be there in the AM to finish. Life is about moments – as you get older and time goes by quicker, this becomes more apparent. Spend time with people and in places that matter because they – or you – could be gone tomorrow. At 20, 40 or 50 seems old. It’s not. You will experience loss and pain. Celebrate the good times, don’t wallow in the bad ones. Memories are forever; don’t miss them because you were stuck in front of a screen.

Try to save a few shekels along the way from all that hard work. Don’t pass up that Roboto mask or seeing Rush in Los Angeles in 2015, though. However, all the money in the world will not buy happiness or health. The former comes from within, the latter only if you do what I say above.

You Can Say “No”

“No” is an acceptable answer to many questions and situations. Saying “yes” to everything makes you a doormat, even if well intentioned. You can’t be all things to all people, nor will you please everyone. Also related: exposure bucks don’t pay the bills. Your time has value, even if you choose to give it for free. If you don’t and people don’t like it, that’s their problem. You will always have haters no matter how much good you do or help.

Make major decisions with the bigger picture in mind. Be able to pivot if necessary. You have a great gut instinct. Trust it.

Choose People Wisely

While you are ultimately responsible for yourself and your actions, surround yourself with people (friends, family, colleagues) that support and love you but at the same time can be honest and kick your behind when needed. You need people in your life who won’t put you on a pedestal. Having people in your corner that have your back and can offer trusted advice is crucial.

Unfortunately, some people will disappoint and hurt you both personally and professionally. When your Spidey sense is tingling, listen. Don’t let the haters and those who hurt you harden you or control your narrative. Rise above the noise.

Side people note: every interaction you have with people – good and bad – matters. You’ll see the impact of this more and more in the years to come. Be confidient and humble. You don’t know it all. Definitely don’t worry what people think or say.

Go with the Flow

You may or may not still be known to be outspoken, opinionated, and passionate (stop chuckling, people). As you get older you realize that life has a funny way of not always working out as you thought it might. Loosen up and go with the flow where possible. You have a terrible poker face, though. People will make memes about you (you’ll find out what a meme is). Have a laugh.

Worry about what you can control, don’t fret (too much) over what you can’t. This will serve you well personally and professionally. Always push forward, don’t live with regrets, and don’t let the stress consume you. Playing “what if” or living in the past is not productive.

Perfection Is the Enemy of Good (or Done …)

You are and will always be your own harshest critic. The bar of quality you set for your work is impossibly high. This is a blessing … and a curse.

Remember how you thought it’d be fun and awesome to write books? Yeah, about that. They’re rewarding, but a LOT of work. You won’t make much money, so being an author is not a “retire early and live on the royalties” plan. With your attention to detail and level of perfection expected (among other things that will happen along the way …)  the books you write are never simple to birth – think along the lines of having quintuplets. You will inevitably disappoint some people with how long it takes and feel bad about it. Get over yourself. Good and done is better than perfect and not done yet.

I’ll leave you with one last thought: Tokyo is every bit as amazing as you thought it would be, but if you can, get there about ten years earlier than I did. The CD shopping will be even more insane.

Love,

Your 47-Year-Old Self